Dare to love in 40 days

"Dare to love in 40 days"

Sun.Star Davao, Feb. 13, 2010

“Has it really been ten years?”

When I was still single, I used to get so ‘kilig’ every time I watch this De Beers Diamond TV ad where the wife uttered this memorable line to her hubby who surprised her with a stunning ‘girl’s best friend’ during their tenth year wedding anniversary.

I, myself, couldn’t believe that this April, my husband Gary and I will be celebrating a similar milestone.

“Has it really been ten years?”....As a couple, we are still both growing and open to making our marriage work even better. We are involved in Couples for Christ and occasionally join marriage enrichment retreats.

Last Sunday, upon the invitation of my good friend Lafayette Lim, Gary and I attended the special movie screening of “Fireproof” at NCCC Cinema. The fundraising event was for the benefit of the Family Ministry of the Chinese-Filipino Apostolate in Davao.

“Fireproof” is an American Christian drama film which became the highest grossing independent film of 2008, with movie ticket sales of over $33,000,000. It is a story of Capt. Caleb Holt (Kirk Cameron) and Catherine Holt (Erin Bethea) who have been married for seven years.

Overworked and burdened by the demands of their respective jobs, Caleb, a firefighter, and Catherine, a public relations director of a hospital, constantly fought. These fights were on many issues such as their jobs, money matters, sharing of housework, etc.

Their continuous bickering and lack of respect for each other so much affected their marriage that Catherine decided to file for divorce and leave Caleb.

When Caleb’s parents learned about this, Caleb’s dad had a serious and engaging talk with his son. He challenged Caleb to a 40-day experiment called “The Love Dare”.

Unaware of this experiment, Catherine began to notice the changes in Caleb and was surprised when Caleb began to treat her differently. He would suddenly surprise her with flowers, call at work to check on her, help around the house, and prepare a romantic candlelight dinner.

But, unfortunately, these all went to waste when Catherine doubted his real intentions and pushed through with the divorce. She suspected that he was just trying to save himself from an ugly and costly divorce.

Despite this uphill journey to save his marriage, Caleb still persisted and as a result, allowed Christ to get into his life and, most importantly, into his relationship with his wife.

With this renewed faith, Caleb went on further through the challenge and pushed himself to even exceed 40 days. Despite insurmountable odds and a crumbling marriage, Caleb’s faith in Christ shone through. Catherine eventually realized that he was truly sincere to become a better husband and person.

For Caleb, he lives by his firefighter’s motto to “Never leave your partner behind”.

One of my favorite lines from the movie was when Caleb and Michael, his fellow firefighter, compared marriage to fighting fire. Caleb said that “Marriages aren’t fireproof. Sometimes you get burned”. But, Michael corrected him and explained that “Fireproof doesn’t mean the fire will never come. It means when the fire comes that you will be able to withstand it”.

So inspired was I from watching the movie that I bought “The Love Dare” book which was being offered at the cinema entrance.

“The Love Dare” is a #1 New York Times bestseller with over 3 million copies sold worldwide. It contains an inspiring 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love. The book “personally leads you through daily devotionals, records your thoughts and experiences, and ends each day daring you to perform a simple act of love for your spouse”.

Here’s an excerpt from Day 10: Love is Unconditional. “Today’s Dare: Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse—something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage”.

Whether you’re celebrating your 1^st or 60^th wedding anniversary, let’s strive to make our marriages “fireproof”.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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