Companioning: Walking with our loved ones through their anxiety

“Companioning: Walking with our loved ones through their anxiety”
SunStar Davao, November 27, 2021

Dr. Joyce Piap-Go may be a seasoned life coach and counselor, but she recently realized that even a counseling professional like her is not spared from experiencing anxiety, stress, and even potential depression.

During the early days of the pandemic, her father-in-law passed away while everyone was on lockdown.  The month after, her mother-in-law was hospitalized and had to undergo a blood transfusion.  These and other overlapping difficulties within the family led her to consult ten doctors in a week.

“By that time, I was already exhausted from lack of sleep.  My mind kept me awake at night as I thought about what else needed to be done.  I felt like I was slowly losing control of my sanity with all that was happening.  I cried so much, not knowing what to do,” she divulges.

“While in the midst of that emotional upheaval, I knew that If I stayed in that state any longer, I could easily spiral down to depression.  I also knew I had to do something to keep myself healthy during this challenging season,” Dr. Go declares.

Learning the right way to support

This personal experience of hers inspired her to pen her latest book, “Companioning: Walking with Our Loved Ones through Their Anxiety” together with Dr. Jojie Wong. Both are proud Dabawenyos based in Manila.

                                 

“My hope is that this book will give us some tools as we journey with those who are anxious and unwell – emotionally or mentally. With appropriate knowledge and skills, we can help our loved ones as they struggle with anxiety and other mental concerns,” says Dr. Go who is also the author of the bestselling “Bee Series” children’s book. Her latest book in the series, “Bee Patient”, will be out soon.

Dr. Go explains that not everyone would have the same tools that she has in coping with anxiety.  She has seen parents, spouses, caregivers, pastors, and friends sincerely wanting to help but were challenged with limited experience and skills. Sadly, this is the reason why some caregivers, even if they put out their best effort, end up doing more harm than good.

“But there is hope, we can all learn,” assures the sought-after speaker on family matters, parenting, love, and relationships.

Triggers and warning signs

“There are many things in this imperfect, fallen world that can cause anxiety.  They may be issues with finances, work, health, or relationships.  Their business could have been affected by the pandemic or recession. Or perhaps they lost their job.  It is also possible to have anxiety from having to transition to retirement,” Dr. Go details.

In addition, having a loved one fall sick can contribute to stress especially if one is used to seeing them healthy and strong. Disruptive relationships with children, partners, friends and even colleagues can greatly contribute to sleepless nights and put minds to overdrive.

Dr. Go, who earned her Doctor of Education in Clinical Christian Counselling degree from the Asia Graduate School of Theology, discloses that mental health affects the mind, emotion, and behavior of a person.

 

Warning signs to look out for include excessive fear and worrying; feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness; loss of appetite or weight change; mood changes; persistent sadness or empty moods; restlessness; tearfulness; thoughts of self-harm or suicide; and too much or too little sleep.

It takes a village

“A good rule of thumb is to seek professional help and have your loved one evaluated if any of the warning signs last more than two weeks.  If you do not notice these signs but have observed your loved one is not able to function normally – at school, work, with their family, or among friends, and acquaintances – then it would also be good to consult with a mental health professional as soon as possible,” Dr. Go advises.

“If your loved one has mentioned suicide, whether we think they mean it or not, it is best to take their words seriously and seek help,” she stresses.

The mother-of-one points out that anxiety is not something we can easily switch on when we are in the doctor’s clinic and switch off when we are not in consultation.  The excessive thoughts and fears could be a day-to-day thing and experienced by our loved ones throughout the day. 

“Therefore, we need to know how to journey with them and learn the tools ourselves.  We also hope that in due time, our loved ones would be able to wean off medical professionals and slowly weave normalcy back into their lives,” she continues.

                                 

Aside from having an adequate good night’s sleep and eating healthy food, Dr. Go suggests that our loved ones can exercise, do deep breathing; stay meaningfully connected; and pray as among practical ways to ease their anxiety.

“An African proverb says, “It takes a whole village to raise a child”.  Personally, I would say, it also takes a village to help our loved ones as they go through anxiety,” ends Dr. Go. 

The book, “Companioning: Walking with Our Loved Ones through Their Anxiety”, is published by OMF Literature Inc.

Image credits: OMF Literature and Canva

E-mail the author at mom.about.town.dvo@gmail.com. Visit http://momabouttowndavao.blogspot.com/.