"How to bully-proof your child"

 “How to bully-proof your child”

Sun.Star Davao, April 7, 2019

The Davao Christian High School Parents-Teachers Fellowship recently organized the “How to Bully-Proof Your Child” parenting talk with Dr. Joyce Piap-Go at the DCHS (V. Mapa Campus) Auditorium.

Dr. Joyce, who was born and raised in Davao, finished her master’s degree in Biblical Studies from the Singapore Bible College and earned her Doctor of Education in Clinical Christian Counselling degree from the Asia Graduate School of Theology. She is likewise a life coach, counselor, facilitator, and speaker on family matters, parenting, love, and relationships.

The speaker is also the author of the bestselling “Bee Series” children’s books with OMF Literature (Hiyas Publications) with titles such as “Bee Kind”, “Bee Polite”, “Bee Helpful”, and “Bee Happy”.

At 15 years old, Dr. Joyce revealed that she was a victim of bullying when she was “socially secluded” by her peers with the painful experience making her depend on the Lord more than people. But, this sad episode in her life taught her many other valuable lessons which led her to help other people cope with similar experiences. 

“I realized that relationships that were broken can be repaired. Many years after, many of these people became my friends.  We kept in touch and go out for meals”, she smiles. “As a clinical Christian counselor, I also became more passionate in sharing my knowledge and experience about bullying. It made me more attuned or sensitive to the emotions of my counselees”, adds the accredited broadcaster and member of the Kapisanan ng mga Brodkaster ng Pilipinas (KBP).

Bullying facts

Dr. Joyce began her talk by highlighting five vital facts about bullying:

Fact no. 1:  Children suffer in silence. Majority of children do not report bullying to an adult because kids are fearful that the adult will freak out and cause additional hassle for them.

Fact no. 2: Victim bully roles tend to remain the same. Their behavior becomes solidified in those roles if an intervention was not made.

Fact no. 3: Internet bullying is more harmful. In fact, cyberbullying is more damaging than person to person bullying due to its broader audience and staying power.

Fact. no. 4: Bullies tend to prey on the vulnerable. Highly sensitive people are often known to be quiet, withdrawn, shy, emotional, anxious, unique and sensitive. They often are the ones who do not have many good friends and may relate better to adults than to peers.

Fact no. 5: Bullying is preventable. Researchers believe that more than half of all bullying cases can be prevented (Fox et. al., 2003). It is just a matter of how much effort we want to put into building a safer environment.

It takes a village to raise a child

If bullying is preventable, then, how do we bully-proof our child? The primary responsibility lies in the hands of the parents who should build their kids’ emotional resilience. However, the school, teachers, students, and the community should take pro-active roles as well. After all, as the African proverb states, “It takes a whole village to raise a child”.

As parents, we can strengthen emotional resilience by, first, nurturing caring and supportive relationships within the family. “Research tells us that it’s not self-reliance, inner strength or independence that will lead your child out of adversity; but it will be from the reliable presence of at least one supportive relationship”, Dr. Joyce underscores.

Secondly, “encourage our kids to have new connections with classmates and other people. Increasing their exposure to people who care about them will give them higher positive emotions”, she shares.

“Next, teach our kids to embrace failures. Tell your children that it’s okay to fail because they learn from them”, the mom of one continues.

Another way on how to bully-proof one’s child is to develop their confidence. “Enroll them in extra-curricular activities that they like. Help them to develop their ability to solve problems”, stresses Dr. Joyce.

Lastly, value having an optimistic attitude. “We must teach our kids to look at a situation with a different perspective. On average, human beings are hardwired to be more optimistic than not. However, we tend to be pessimists because we have been influenced by our negative environment. Optimism helps cushion the impact of stress”, says Dr. Joyce.

Dr. Joyce, then, shares her favorite verse which helped her overcome her bullying experience, “That there's always hope in whatever situation we are in because we have a great God who will never leave us nor forsake us”. (Hebrews 13:5)

As the project chair of the "How to Bully-Proof your Child" parenting talk, I wish to thank our dearest guest speaker, DR. JOYCE PIAP-GO, for sharing her time and expertise. Thank you so much to my PTF family, DCHS administration and DCHS community for the all-out support! :) 

E-mail the author at mom.about.town.dvo@gmail.com. Visit http://momabouttowndavao.blogspot.com/.