Wednesday, February 29, 2012



Town & Country Philippines features "Davao's Most Fascinating Women" for their March 2012 Summer Travel issue. "Mom-About-Town" is part of the list :-)

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Wonder kid writes for a cause


“Wonder kid writes for a cause”
Sun. Star Davao, Feb. 18, 2012

At thirteen year of age, Scott Lee Chua is such an admirable model kid.

A Grade Seven student at Xavier School in Greenhills (Manila), Scott is a consistent first honor student who loves a cornucopia of subjects from math, science, literature, arts, history, music, travel and even magic.

Like his multi-hyphenated mom, Dr. Queena Lee-Chua who is an award-winning author, Phil. Daily Inquirer columnist, psychologist, and Ateneo de Manila Ph.D. professor, Scott is fascinated with complicated mathematical concepts and has the extraordinary ability to explain them in simpler and more understandable terms.

Because of this amazing gift, Scott has been invited to do Math Magic shows and Math Singapore model approach lectures for students, parents and teachers and has represented his school in national and international math competitions, reaping various awards and medals.

Not only does Scott adore numbers, he is a voracious reader and gifted writer as well whose latest achievement is being one of the two youngest winners in the history of the prestigious Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature.

Junior adventurer

Scott’s passion for writing started when he was in Prep. The professed Dr. Seuss fan would creatively draw and write his own superhero comic books, which his proud parents would print and give to close friends and relatives as personalized Christmas gifts. By Grade 1, his poem, “Freedom”, was published in the “Junior Inquirer”. His travel articles have also appeared in the “Philippine Daily Inquirer” and “Working Mom” magazine.

His innate writing ability did not go unnoticed by Karina Bolasco, the head of Anvil Publishing. In 2006, Karina asked Scott to do children’s books after seeing his travel diaries. He was invited repeatedly to write for the respected publishing house in 2007 and 2008.

But, it was only in 2009, at the time that his grandfather, Dr. William Lee, passed away, that Scott decided to accept the offer. In 2010, he launched his children’s travels books, “Top Ten Travels in Tokyo; Kuala Lumpur; and New Zealand” in honor of his beloved grandfather.

In his book, he writes, “I started traveling when I was six years old, and I have not stopped since. Mom and Dad love to visit spots and learn about other cultures, and I have inherited this from them”.

However, Scott and his parents do not travel the way other people do. They refrain from joining package tours unless necessary, because they dislike hurrying through wonderful places.

“We want to set our own pace, and linger in spots that we love. We also don’t like to shop, because we prefer to eat new foods, learn new skills, and try out new activities. These are what make travels memorable”, Scott enthuses.

Top Ten Pinoy Travels

“My travel books on Tokyo, Kuala Lumpur and New Zealand inspired many kids to visit these thrilling destinations”, the young writer shares.

Despite his foreign travels, Scott heartily shares that he believes that the Philippines is still one of the most beautiful countries with numerous sites waiting for him to tell the whole world. So, for his next writing project, he decided to focus on travels in his homeland. Thus, the “Top Ten Pinoy Travels” featuring Davao, Cebu and Manila was launched in September 2011.

Scott and his supportive parents have a special and soft spot for Davao. Dr. Queena’s best friend since grade school, Julie Tiu (who also happens to be Scott’s godmother) married a Dabawenyo and is currently based here.

With the same enjoyable format as his previous travel series, Scott’s new set of books is perfect for junior adventurers. The amusing and easy-to-read descriptions (both in English and Filipino) highlight the author’s recommended must-see local places. It is also colorfully presented with playful illustrations by graphic artist Rommel “Omeng” Estanislao. Oftentimes, Scott is portrayed in the artwork with his signature blue umbrella.

Writing for a cause

During Scott’s talk and book signing with mom, Dr. Queena, recently at the National Book Store Abreeza, he discussed the topic, “How I Wrote a Book: If I Could Do It, So Could You!”. His mom, on the other hand, engaged the audience with her extensive knowledge on “How to Raise Star Students”.

The day before, Scott was also invited by the Davao Christian High School (DCHS) to give a talk on “Writing for Life” to selected students.

He encouraged the DCHS students to keep on reading. “Read lots of books of all sorts, especially award-winning books. They are only boring if you don’t understand them”, the only child explains.

In the same manner, Scott advises budding writers to “write as much as you can”. He reminds them not to be afraid to be cold as ice towards their story. Learn how to “edit, edit, edit!”.

Scott emphasizes that the youth has a powerful voice; and that they can effectively express themselves by being “entertaining, humorous and witty”. This was how he wrote his piece, “Of Pixels and Power”, which won 2nd place in the Kabataan Essay Division of the Palanca Awards.

This early, Scott utilizes his voice for a worthy purpose opting to donate both his P5,000 Palanca prize money and proceeds of his published books to the Educational Research and Development Assistance (ERDA) Technical and Vocational High School. It is a Manila-based school for disadvantaged youth which Xavier School adopted two years ago. His generous donation will help the needy students to purchase food, supplies and other necessities.

A wonder kid with a big heart, Scott indeed lives by his favorite line from the Spiderman movie, “With great power comes great responsibility”.

E-mail the author at mom.about.town.dvo@gmail.com. Visit www.momabouttowndavao.blogspot.com.

(Photo of Scott in Grade 1 courtesy of Xavier School's website)

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Are you a tiger or an ostrich parent?



“Are you a Tiger or an Ostrich Parent?”
Sun.Star Davao, Feb. 4, 2012

I’m sure many of you have heard of or read the controversial memoir by Yale law professor Amy Chua, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”. I was able to buy a copy last summer and found it amusing and yet thought-provoking. After reading the bestseller, it made me wonder if I had been a tiger mother on some occasion, although, on a much lesser scale.

To give you an insight of her life, Chua was raised by equally high-achieving Filipino-Chinese parents who immigrated to the U.S. in the early ‘60s. She grew up in a household that used the more traditional and strict Asian parenting method.

Years later, when she had her daughters, Sophia and Lulu, the magna cum laude graduate did not hesitate to utilize that same parenting approach.

For instance, her kids were forbidden to watch TV, play computer games, attend sleepovers, go on play dates and choose their own extracurricular activities. They were “not allowed to get any grade less than an A” and were expected to be “the number 1 student in every subject except gym and drama”.

As a result, her children admirably excelled in academics and music (particularly violin and piano). However, the tiger mom’s rigid parenting style sometimes caused unavoidable tension and conflict between her and her daughters.

If you feel that Chua’s parenting style is bordering on the extreme and you may wonder, “Is she for real?!”, well, think again. Tiger parents like Chua are very much in our midst.

Making the parenting social circle extra interesting is the presence of ostrich parents who are the exact opposite of tiger parents.

What’s your parenting style?

During a recent parenting seminar at the Davao Christian High School entitled “Striking a Balance between Being a Tiger Parent and an Ostrich Parent” by guest speaker Dr. Queena Lee-Chua, she cites the contrasting qualities of these two kinds of parents. Dr. Queena is a multi-awarded author, psychologist, Phil. Daily Inquirer columnist and Ateneo de Manila Ph.D. professor.

“Ostrich parents love their kids but run away from the responsibilities of parenting”, Dr. Queena describes. Sometimes, they are absent in their children’s lives due to work (e.g., OFWs, overworked executives and “lazy” parents).

She adds that ostrich parents “relinquish parenting to others such as relatives, teachers, tutors, yayas, etc.” They have low or no expectations of their children and have few or no boundaries which result in the kids getting into trouble and not doing well in school.

Like the ostrich parents, tiger parents also love their kids. But, the problem is they are “extremely involved in every aspect of their children’s lives, even minor ones”.

Their competitive nature dictates their kids to outperform everyone else, which Dr. Queena emphasizes is “impossible to do”. “Nobody can be number one all the time”, she points out.
For the tiger parents, getting high grades becomes more important than the learning process itself. They practice hyper-parenting and over schedule their kids with activities inside and outside school (e.g., math enrichment activities, music lessons, sports, art classes, etc.).

Another term for tiger parents are the “helicopter parents”, which Dr. Queena refers to as parents who seem to “hover” over their children during their activities to the point of intervening for them. They include those we usually see complaining to the teacher and the school.

Striking a balance

Is there ever a glimmer of hope for the overly tiger or the laid-back and unmindful ostrich parent? Thankfully, there is.

“Ostrich parents should be more present in their children’s lives. They must be clear on the expectations and boundaries with their kids and work for and come up with ways to meet them”, Dr. Queena suggests.

Since most kids of ostrich parents have poor academic performance, Dr. Queena advises that they “guide their child in developing effective and independent study habits”. And, for sure, better grades will soon follow.

“Stop portraying yourself as the “cool” parent who wants to be more of a barkada than a parent”, she declares.

And, what about the more aggressive tiger parents?

Dr. Queena has two words: “Step back”. Give your child space and time to grow. Learn how to alternate between work and rest; between active and quiet periods.

She says that tiger parents must refrain from being too focused on grades. Oftentimes, those who vie for the highest honors end up being enemies with their competitors. Forget about the drive to beat everyone and instead be friends with everyone during the race.

The mother of one reminds tiger parents that “inner values are more important in the long run than the externals”.

Let our children fight their own battles

Face it; we cannot fight the battles of our children. Yes, we should guide our young ones but only up to a certain point. It is imperative that they are guided to solve their own problems and be more resilient and determined in preparation for the future.

Dr. Queena finds it healthy to let children make their own mistakes and even fail sometimes in small things. She opens up during the parenting talk that she has brilliant college students who break under pressure on their first quiz or exam failure. After years of being protected by tiger parents, this initial shock leaves a bitter taste in their mouths.

When it comes to parenting, Dr. Queena clarifies that “there is no one right way”. Although, personally, if she were asked to choose, she prefers some of the qualities of tiger parents than ostrich parents.

She stresses that “parents know their child better than anyone else; therefore, they know what works for them and their child”.

At the end of the seminar, the emcee Jigs Gacal, asked Dr. Queena, “So, what do you call a parent who is able to strike a balance between being a tiger parent and an ostrich parent?”.

Dr. Queena quickly replied with a smile, “A great parent!”.

And, I hope this is something that every parent aims to be!

****
It was indeed a privilege to serve as the project coordinator of Dr. Queena Lee-Chua’s parenting seminar at the Davao Christian High School for the second time.

The “Striking a Balance between Being a Tiger Parent and an Ostrich Parent” event could not have been a major success if not for the support of Anvil Publishing represented by Gwenn Galvez; Dr. Queena’s Davao-based best friend Julie Tiu; DCHS school director Arthur Brian Yap; DCHS’ very efficient administration team Maycelle Billanes, Shem Labor, Jimjim Carreon and Kuya Edgar; DCHS Parents-Teachers Fellowship president Yvonne Cabada and secretary Sharon Mangaoil and the rest of the PTF Board; Ma’am Jigs Gacal; Teachers Jay Rivera and Loida Lanaban; Annavi Salvador, Ian So, Naome Basilio, DCHS parents and teachers, and guests!

My sincerest thanks to all of you. To God be all the glory!

E-mail the author at mom.about.town.dvo@gmail.com. Visit www.momabouttowndavao.blogspot.com.